WORDS OF WISDOM


A collection of very... Interesting quotes from around the web.

Ssssuper


You're not as important as you think, 30 years old and on a gaming forum lmao



migles


btw, since you (an admin) quoted my message, i need to ask, where is my own death star, my vip points or my dark premium currency


i had been loyal to the dark theme for years, i want my freebies



The Under Line


I just got up to a bunch of needy annoying people


im sorry


also SMOKE A BOWL?if thats a turn of phrase i will say ok


if its literal and you Smoke


you are a disgusting human scum that cant tolerate life without mind dulling materiel



CeeDee


annoying sound effect WHAT'S UP MY BROS MY NAME IS reallydumbname AND TODAY WE'RE PLAYING randomindiegame!!!!!!!!!!1!!!11!!!11!!12!!1!!2 dumb rambling about gameplay with added occasional screams of excitement for the next 10 minutes



Dev5359


Any particular reason my clock and date resets to 1/1 2011 every time my 3DS is rebooted?

Localhorst86


you're trapped in a time loop. None of this is real, it's all just a figment of your imagination.



Zidapi


This thread is going to go downhill faster than Sonic The Hedgehog covered in lube.



phillgamer


I open it in sysnand and he ran the online mario kart legit stances so I was wondering if it will brink or ban outta Portuguese because I am Brazilian and my English fuck kkkkkkkkk



sergey3000


bible black is the only anime that doesn't belong in the trash. I remember back in the day's when I was 12 years old I learned so much from this education anime. naruto and dbz is all about violence. but bible black is about human art.



Seriel


Bootroms.


The final frontier.


Will the hackers succeed in entering the mysterious land? Find out next time on:


THE BOOTROMS.



(i dont even know what i just wrote halp)




mgrev


why attend to someones funeral when they wont attend at yours?



GreenStone99


All i know is that gays are porn atheists

GreenStone99


EVERYONE: I DO NOT SUPPORT GAYS BUT I RESPECT THEM. I THINK THAT GAYS ARE COOL TOO SOMETIMES, JUST NOT WHEN THEY KISS OTHER BOYS, WATCH DICK2DICK P0RN, OR DISCUSS ATHEISM. I AM A STRAIGT CHRISTIAN, SO PLEASE STOP SAYING I AM A PORN ATHEIST ON MY PROFILE.



Viri


Post girl penis



a9lhpeterhax


im sepojaking englsih



mgrev


if you have to go to the hospital for that

you are the biggest fucking pussy i have ever seen

(i don't watch porn though)



Electra Heart


One MSPaint Link a day keeps YandereDev away.



RacoonButler


[Morgan Freeman Voice]

and slowly they began to get sidetracked



_caustic_


is china like the only fucking country that uses QR codes?

is their economy and government structured on QR codes?

"yes stocks are up 3 QR codes today"



RedBees


HOLY FUCK I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

I'M

THE

LOST

COUSIN

OF

JUSTIN BIEBER



Bio


attended your funeral, why cant i attend mines?

Karnia*Joy


the mines are very pleased that you want to attend their funeral, bio



_caustic_


my metaphorical vocal synth penis is fully erect



hobbledehoy899


Your mama's so FAT she's the File Allocation Table for an 8-inch floppy disk.



x3m157


Not mine, but one of the 911 call recordings I heard during training was up there.


All you could hear was screaming and thumping noises in the background. Caller was completely hysterical, couldn't understand anything she said. Managed to get an address in-between screams, so they sent some officers out rather quickly and....


It was an overflowing washing machine.



c-nd-ce


My boyfriend's step mom is a 911 operator, she's told us some good stories, but here are two of my favourites:


-A person called claiming their cat was holding them hostage in their room and they couldn't escape.


-A person called claiming someone was threatening to murder their family. When she asked for more information it was discovered that a guy had a sticker on the back window of his car that said "fuck your stick family" with a picture of a monster truck driving over stick people. The guy had taken this harmless joke of a sticker as a direct threat.



_caustic_


brother: home is where your heart is and yours is in the trash

me: well by that logic your home is //says exgirlfriend's name//

brother: starts crying

i laughed

mom hid her face because she thought it was funny for a second too



mgrev


oh my "lord"

(i'm an atheist)



Flame


also why do people fight in hockey and the referee just watches?

RevPokemon


Because Canadians are savage beasts who pretend to be nice while they are truly evil.



Karnia*Joy


i woke up and random thought "wow, tomato never gets offended by anything" in literally the middle of the night for no reason and went right back to sleep

there was no prompting or anything



Noctosphere


so smea, is this thing legit?

iAqua


It is...

smealum


i'm sorry is your name smea



FAST6191


surprise dog attack and my reluctance to save has ended my resident evil 1 hd playthrough



nasnumber


tommy wiseau as the next presidential candidate, at the next debates; "ha ha whatever, next question..." mr wiseau what is your closing statement? "move on, next question"



Pizza Party Ben


HOW DO YOU TYPE SO FAST @HILLARYCLINTON, NOBODY SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEND THAT MANY EMAILS, DO YOU EVEN HAVE TIME TO EAT



froghand


this is the most millenial picture i've ever seen

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Apple-payment-square.jpg


watch me pay for my off-brand coffee at a shitty United States store from a company that tracks every single thing i purchase with my magic money rays from my cell phone built with child slavery that i limply dangle over a coaster like a porn star's cock, ignoring the increasing amount of control we're giving to private entities and the ability for them to know every single thing we do whenever we use their service



Adlez27


"oh, an esperanto minecraft video. i wonder what its about"

hello and welcome to our communist minecraft community

(closes tab)



bealfeirstecoiscuain


I had a near death experience. I recall floating towards a brilliant white light, a feeling of total serenity and hearing a voice saying "Are you sure you want another tequila?"



wholegrainbread


i would wear sweatpants but my school dresscode thinks kids will hide a gun in them



Lintire


So I was at the store yesterday buying All American Apple Pies, not the good kind the off brand kind, and as I was at the checkout a guy behind me shoved me. Turned around, there he was. Donald Trump.


"Hey how's it going, just got elected, haha."


I didn't want this. I mean I didn't vote for Hillary, but you know I just wanted to go home to my beautiful gay wife and Illegal Mexican children, and here was Trump building emotional walls. He saved up a big lungfull of air and just blew it in my face, technically not illegal and I'd be in the wrong to retaliate. It tasted like tax loopholes.


As the powerful musk of his lemon scented toupee and spray tan knocked me back, he took a step forward and stuck his hand in my All American Apple Pie. You could probably still eat it but I could see the grease from Trump Steaks all in that apple. It looked a bit like the Devil's Mayonnaise I won't lie. The checkout clerk giggled, I'd never been cucked this hard and I was FUMING.


I grab the soiled pie and brisk walked towards the door before tripping, falling flat on my face, and turning to see VP Mike Pence with his foot stuck out, him and Trump just laughing as I cried my way home.


That night my gay wife left me for Trump's promised LGBT reforms and my children got deported. I still have to pay alimony.


FUCK Donald Trump, that hairy banana looking asshole. He pwned me so hard I still get nightmares. Fuck him and fuck anyone who supports him!



_caustic_


also it's cold outside

your dick isn't doing shit

GamerzHell9137


what if my dick has little hands and has a knife in his hands?



GamerzHell9137


i'd like to thank my parents, the lady in the bakery and my dick



Karnia*Joy


woding is head

CODING IS HARD

jfc



RetroBitMig


im in elngoush right now

english



TheOnlyBongo


STEVE BUSCEMI IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE SANTA SCHOOL



GonzoRick


"Essence of mediocrity"

That's not my least favorite cologne.



GorgeousMyStage


"Are you coming down my chimney today"

Putting this on my Grindr profile, very festive



mikezech31


Awesome Processor.

This processor is like viagra for my pc. It now humps along like a group of bunnies drinking cialis tainted water.



Cactusman129


windows/osx viruses: we took your personal information and formatted your entire hard drive

enjoy paying for some yacht for a dude in botswana loser


dos viruses: hears some neat graphical effects and some cool little digital ants



Insomniac Racoon


Toads always piss. You pick one up? It pisses. You set one down to let it go? It pisses. You drop food in front of them? They piss.



rimphyd


90's famine happen because teen kim jong un eat all the food



Zoku


Makku..

Makku


what

Zoku


What pasta u like

Makku


every pasta's fine

but i prefer a pizza that ass ;)



Chris Person


Congrats to the beautiful gay skating boys for breaking the anime website.



_caustic_


Tomato will be in IT and die by being sucked into the server ventilation at the age of 1337

very long life they should be proud



smileyhead


this is how you do it

~rule34 arms nintendo

Nadeko [Bot]


@smileyhead no results.

smileyhead


fuck



Zoku


i'd let Spider-Man shoot his webs in me

that was officially the worst thing i've ever written

Tomato Hentai


and now it's on my quotes wall

Zoku


OH MY GOD



Probably Hitler1


Onision likes his women like he likes his wine.

12 years old and locked in a basement.



Knechtor


I feel bad for Barron because he's just a autistic kid but now the whole world sees him being autistic.

Osmorosvo


He just want's to play Minecraft in peace. Griefers BTFO.

Jason Clark


He builds the strongest walls, made out of Obsidian.



deilyrubi Hernandez




WFT IS THIS TALKING ABOUT WFT HOW COULD U UNDERSTAND HIS/SHE LUANGE THIS IS HELL DONT WATCH THIS THIS GUY/LADY IS THE DEVIL HE/SHE IS A DEMON DONT WATCH THIS IT'SDEVIL STUFF



_caustic_


amazingly it doesn't do japanese

English, german, two kinda of psanish, frnsh, Chinese and korean

oh my god how the fuck did I speel it like that

SPEEL

SPEEEEEL

I think I'm dying



Adlez27


(barbie doll ominously walks backwards) she deproaches

IrlVenus


*she deproaches*

Adlez27


(i, too, ominously walk backwards) deproach



fastone12345


Beating the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg is helping me stay awake pretty well



anhminh


So what framerate can a core i3 pc get at lowest graphic?

Deboog


1 frame. Not 1 fps, 1 frame. Period.

anhminh


Damn, my PC suck. Can I run the 1 frame at 4k atleast?

Deboog


You could render it at 50k if it's just a black screen.



Shimejicon


parappa continues to harass onion children



mateus51


I saw Damon Albarn at a grocery store in New York yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.



Cub3ulr


hOLY fucJK THE bsaS on LEfeTH ADN suczuKI METHOAD IS INSTENSE



Dork


x86 is teeny tiny baby compared to the giant hulking monster that is the CELL. the CELL is so powerful we can't even take advantage of it. its like ancient alien technology that boggles the minds of even the gods. the power of the CELL is unrivaled.



blaster


My sister gave me burnt popcorn. She's first in the gas chamber.



mechagouki


I have all my passwords tattooed on the back of a small child.



_caustic_


the higher the fee the faster your transaction, one person I saw paid $50 and it took like 6 hours

$50 in miner fees

🇬🇧🇮🇹🇫🇷🎌🚩🇩🇪🇺🇸🚩🇫🇷

FUCK i just TYPED IN FLAGS



_caustic_


ok

so

the web client is down but the native ccleints

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

...

keyboard lag



VillianTwin


What if Nintendo responds to everyone complaining that there are no cutscenes in Grand Prix (1 player) mode by adding tonally dark and M-rated vignettes looking into the dysfuncitonal lives of the ARMS fighters.


Spring Man: (sobbing) You f-fucked her? You fucked her and you lied to me?

Ninjara: Yeah, and I felt nothing. I still feel nothing.

Spring Man: I'm gonna be sick.

Ninjara: There's something wrong with me, Springs. Something missing.


Bell Dings


Announcer: Round one, fight!


----


(Ribbon Girl walks through the streets of ARMSterdam, junkies and hookers chattering on every corner. Her trench coat, cap and sunglasses conceal her identity.)


Ribbon Girl: My father wasn't much of a man. A drunk, a user, maybe.

Toothless Junkie: Ey girl, you wanna have a good time tonight or what?


(Ribbon Girl leaps into the hair and double, triple, quadruple jumps, the Junkie watching in disbelief)


(Ribbon Girl throws an impossibly long arm out and connects a punch to the junkie's head, killing him instantly)


Ribbon Girl: When the fists start flying, you get out of the way.



RedBees


AHHH WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCITY FUCK

I JUST DISCOVERED

THAT ONE

CRITICAL

THING

THAT'S

TAKING UP

ALL MY DISK SPACE

A 6 AND A HALF G FUCKING B MC SERVER LOG


I AM NOT SHITTING



designchoices


pokemon sucks

strata


no



owlman


I think if I can take a dick, I can take a joke.



Boomtime


question mark i cant type an actual mark because im holding a soda cup in another hand so question mark question mark question mark



blujay


Personally, I've never had to call nintendo after I accidentally told them to wait while I booted into emuNAND and then they hung up sooo.



Linus Torvalds


A lot of people still like Solaris, but I'm in active competition with them, and so I hope they die.



Boomtime


this kid at my school always tells me to stop in the hallway and then tickles my chin and goes "chickle wickle wickle ;)"


every single fucking day



Lia


Who needs friends when you have boys



Seliph


You ever just want to wrap yourself in tinfoil and roll into a microwave and blow yourself the fuck up?



Hell's Malice


Lets be real here.
We've seen you post.
We know you don't have any friends, let alone any of them being female.